Monday, February 23, 2009

Confessions of a Video Gamer

Awhile ago I had heard that there were many young kids becoming addicted to video games.
I laughed at this becuase I didn't believe that one could be addicted to video games and even if they were, was it so bad? Was playing constantly all that wrong? So what if kids were staying inside playing games. Wouldn't we rather have them do that then be out on the streets doing drugs? But, then I began to look at these kids--these gamers. Many of them lazy, over weight, and lack the drive to doing something with their lives. This seemed familiar to me in my own life.

So, I then began to examine my own life.

I soon realized that I was one of these addicts.
My playing time consisted of hours and hours of submersion into the games. Some online, chatting with other fellow gamers, and some on the ps3 or wii. I wouldn't just play for a couple of hours, but we are talking about 5-8hrs each day during the week and double that on the weekends.

It was then that I realized that I was getting little else accomplished in my own life. My writing was becoming extinct. Blogging seemed to be very little, even to find me on face book was becoming rare.

I began to watch my pattern of when I would play the most. It happen to be that I played more when I was stressed out. Just like an alcoholic, only my drug was video games.
Now your probably saying to yourself, "nothing wrong with that, its just video games." And your probably right.

It's just video games! Could be worse...Could be alcohol or drugs that I am addicted to.
But, the truth is--anything that takes you away from your life's purpose, living life, or your family is probably bad.

This was beginning to happen to me. It took my husband to get me to realize these things, but I guess I already knew it and just didn't want to face it.

So I confess it.
I am addicted to video games!

Even now, I have an online game running in the background while I blog. I also am downloading another online game to boot!

So what does one do now? How does one get control of an addiction such as this? I mean it's not really killing me. It is however keeping me from achieving my goals in life. I suppose I will just have to be strong and lay the games aside for a bit and see that games are just games. They really don't add any benefit to your life, except maybe help you to forget about your life at the time of.
There are far more important things then games. I suppose I will somehow have to find a balance between my life and games.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


Everything is changing inside of me
My thoughts, actions, and feelings all changed
I don't know when or how this came to be

The life I led so long ago
Is nothing now but a distant memory
I still have it all in tow
Yet I am complete in all my creativity

Times have changed
and so have I
My mind rearranged

My thoughts move fast
Hundreds running through
They are hard to still
I have something to prove

Where does this imagination of mine begin?
How is it born and how does it become?
It will consume me, I hope it will win

For you see
my creativity
is so very important to me
It shows my sensitivity

So with pen and paper I write
Hoping that in the end it will all make sense
and my life with take flight

I will stand
I will be strong
Come take my hand
and we can't go wrong

Let us use this thing call creativity
to show the world what is inside of us
Let us show our feelings in all its simplicity
Let it breathe if it must

You can't blot it out
you can share with the world
even if you doubt

This thing called creativity
its inside of you and me
together we can show our personality
just let it be

In the end we shall stand
together forever as one
our creativeness like a band

Bringing people together to make a difference
making them unite
a powerful tool our words can be its up to you
it's your preference

I will stress once again the change in me
that has come to be
and you will see
that you have it too
yes you are creativity

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Cross that off my list please!

It's winter.

I hate it.

Well, alright, maybe not hate it. Hate is such a strong word. But, winter is definitely not my favorite time of year. Sure, during the winter holidays it's nice. But, the whole rest of the season I just can't find a need for it. All it does is seem to get me down, and I find it hard to accomplish the tasks at hand.

Just the other day a co-worker recommended, once she realized how many projects I had on my plate, that I make up a goal's list. I have made goals lists in the past, never to follow through on them. But, I thought, it had been awhile since I made up a list and at least tried to follow through on it.

What harm would come from it? What would I have to lose? I hurriedly scribbled down some projects that I really wanted to work on. The list looked something like this:

Goals for week 1 (Jan. 16 through Jan. 23)

1)Drywall- Measure and cut the ledges in bedroom #2 and apply corner beading

2)My novel- rework prologue

3)Blogging- Write one blog

4)Garage- Remove 5 book boxes

There were a few other things on my list, but now that I think about it they probably really aren't list worthy, so I left them off.
Now this list is not real big, but you have to understand that I work the night shift. So I sleep all day, well most of the time. I get up about 2-3pm est. I have no little children that demand my attention. So I have the time to complete these items on my list, yet here it is Wednesday, Jan. 21 and I have only done the one now.


But, at least it is one I suppose and I can cross that off my list.

So now as I sit, still in my pj's. I am feeling a bit better about myself. Maybe winter isn't so bad? Maybe I just need to remain positive and optimistic. So what if I don't meet all of my goals. Finishing one is at least something, is it not?

And when I look back over the past 9 months and see what my husband and I have accomplished I feel satisfied. We have done a lot these past months. We moved into our house last March. The house was half finished. So we had to finish the bottom level ourselves.(I think I will save that for another blog) We put in a fairly decent sized vegetable garden. Put in a yard, it was a grade level. I worked on my novel and got the prologue and first 3 chaps done, (but I am not happy with it).
Maybe it was time for a little break. It has now been nearly 2-3 months since i have really done anything, besides blog.

But, maybe today will be the first day that we return back to our projects. Just saying that gives me hope that I will in time complete all my goals.

But, for now, at least I can say, "cross that off my list please!"

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Just Say No to Negativity!

Recently my husband got me interested in reading some of Deepak Chopra books. For those who do not know who Deepak Chopra is, he is a M.D. and widely known spiritual leader/author who has written a number of books on spiritual guidance. If any of you have read him, then you will know that he stresses the importance of remaining positive. For some, like myself, this can be a difficult task. Though if we try, the benefits are astounding!

If we can just say no to having negativity in our lives, think of how much happier we will be--how much better our world will be. So many times we use negativity and we don't even know it. Whether it is to make ourselves look better or feel important, it is still wrong. Gossip and back biting become so much of a focus in our lives that we don't even see it and realize that we ourselves are not happy. And isn't that the real goal here? To be happy? I like to think so.

A few weeks ago, a co-worker of mine approached me at the start of our shift at a local retirement facility. She seemed very distraught, her whole body was rigid with agitation. Right away I sensed that she was upset with some of the other staff. The words that came from her mouth were nothing but complaints and criticism targeting those that, she felt, did her wrong. Instead of joining in with her and complaining about these people, I calmly told her (as best as I could without criticizing or condemning her) that maybe if she took a step back and looked at the situation from the other person's point of view that maybe she could resolve the problem.

At first she just stared at me as though I were crazy and then continued on bantering our fellow co-workers. I gave her a few more helpful tips on dealing with difficult people before bluntly saying to her,
"Lets remain positive here." That got her attention. I smiled brightly at her and then said in a comical but serious kind of way "Just say no to negativity!"

She returned my smile with one of her own and then nodded to me, "you know your right! I am negative, maybe if I just talk with the person," she went on to explain as her mind conjured up a solution, "maybe together we can fix this," she replied.
"See," I responded.

She smiled and walked away, no longer so negative but more upbeat and positive.
Not only did she go on to have a really good rest of the shift once she resolved the situation, but she felt better about herself because she had fixed a problem with someone that didn't even know they had did her wrong.

All I did was tell her "Just say no to negativity!"

I know it's not always easy to be positive and not every situation will be easy to resolve. Too many people around us make this hard to achieve, but if we try the results will surprise you. If we pay more attention to what we say and how we say it, then we will not only be helping ourselves to be happy, but the people around us as well.

Just remember we are all part of one universe. What you say about someone else, really is a comment about your own self. For in me I will see you and in you I will see me. Think of that the next time you go to criticize or condemn someone.

Monday, January 12, 2009

To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question!

About a month ago, my husband had brought up the idea of blogging to me. At first I was not interested and totally threw away the idea, (like I do with a lot of his suggestions but then later find out he was right). You see I am an aspiring writer and like many new writers, I was having a problem with getting out what was in my head onto paper.

So, he thought that maybe blogging may help with all those thoughts that seemed to be trapped inside my head. Maybe it would help me practice my wonderful writing skills, which are getting better with the more I write.

Once he explained blogging to me and what it would entail, I started to think it over a bit. Maybe he was right. Maybe blogging would help my situation. So that left the one question in my brain to repeat itself over and over until I listened.

To blog or not to blog.

For most people its not too hard to answer that question. But, for me it was a real dilemma. What would I blog about? Were my thoughts really worthy of blogging? Did I have any important or good tips for my readers? And would readers, such as you, really want to hear about my ideas/thoughts?

Now as I sit here at my desk, my fingers icy cold and typing away, I know the answer to that question.

Yes I think I will blog.
Thanks to my husband all of you can now read whats inside my mind.
Come along if you dare!